Don't look back again.

That's what you said to me the other day. We danced, and I followed you out to the courtyard, to watch you shine in the moonlight. One of the others followed me, though I didn't know it. Not until he went flying at you with his knife.

I took that knife for you. I stepped in front of him before he could reach you, and I took the knife in my arm. It hurt, but for you I would do anything. You were already being cocooned by the moonlight, by it, and so you did not know.

I killed that man, for you.

It did not go after me again. It knew that I would not be taken. Instead it sent more of the others after us. Man after man, and sometimes even a woman, I stopped them all, and the ground soaked in the blood.

It sickened me, but I did it for you.

I watched silently as it finished wrapping you in its ribbons of moonlight. I watched silently as again a star was born within your body. I watched silently as it fled your warm golden light, going to the blood soaked ground for safety.

I said nothing, even when it went for me in desperation. I merely watched it wrap itself around my body. I could feel your light, and I knew that it would be stopped. So I put myself in your hands.

But it did not disappear.

I looked up, not sure why it was still there, wondering why your light had not destroyed it as it had before. And I saw you. You had turned around to stare at whatever it had fled to, and you had seen me, surrounded by the blood, a knife in my hand.

A shriek pierced the silence.

It was your shriek. You had cried out at the sight of the blood, and the bodies behind me. The pure horror and sadness on your face made me weep, and I knew that I was the cause of your pain. I felt it wrap itself tighter around my body, and my arm went numb, the knife falling to the ground, again breaking the silence.

I stared at you, and I saw the tears forming in your emerald eyes. I wanted to tell you that I had done it for you, that I was no killer, but I could not. It was too strong, and I was at my limits. And so you did not know.

But there must have been something. Perhaps you saw it in my eyes. Perhaps you just felt sorry for me. You must have had your reasons.

I do not know them.

All I know is that I will be eternally grateful to you. Despite what I had done, despite the pool of blood at my feet, you saved me. For the second time that night, your golden glow bathed the courtyard, and it dissolved from around me.

I fell to the ground, gasping at having my breath restored to me. I looked up, prepared to thank you, and to beg forgiveness for what I had done. And I met your eyes, staring at me. Your look was of pure hatred, and I knew then that what I had done was unforgivable.

"Leave me," you said, and I could tell from your golden voice that I would never be allowed near you again.

Weeping, I levered myself to my feet. My body was dripping with blood, and I could see the disgust on your face. I returned the knife to its owner and, without saying a word, I began to walk away.

I do not know why, but I felt myself compelled to stop and turn around, to glance at you one last time. And I saw you, weeping silently over the bodies, glowing softly. I watched as you sent their souls upward, to the heavens, and I was glad that you could release them.

Then you looked up, and you saw me standing there, watching you. Your beautiful emerald eyes grew hard, and again I felt your hatred. You stood to face me, your golden hair streaming backwards because of a wind that I could not feel. You pointed away, in the direction I had been going, and for the second time, you spoke.

"Don't look back again," you said, and I turned away.

I didn't look back.

And now here I sit, alone, separated from all that is familiar. I cannot stop thinking of you, and of what I have done. I know that nothing I can say will suffice, but still, I wish I could have explained myself.

All that I did, I did for you. I am no killer; that night was the first, and only, time. That is no excuse, but I still had a reason. I just wish I could apologize.

I love you.