And then...
The world collapsed on me. First it was the ultimate pleasure... you know what I'm talking about, and if you don't, then you probably shouldn't be reading this. So yeah, ultimate pleasure... That felt good. (And if that wasn't the understatement of the century, I don't know what is.)
I was floating, somewhere not quite attached to my body. I know, I already described this once, but it could use describing again. You see, there was my soul, floating high above my body and watching the things going on underneath. And to say that I was disturbed by those things... that would be another understatement. Really, I was trying not to think about what was being done to my body at that moment, by my best friend nonetheless.
That didn't stop the sensations from reaching me, of course. That didn't stop the sensations from sparking something within that soul of mine, even though I had no body with which to react to the sensations. See, at that point, my body, laying down there, wasn't really me. It was someone else, someone just barely connected to me, but not me. And my soul was just my soul, floating there watching the entire thing, and trying not to notice the burning feelings coming up through the connection to the body on the bed below me.
Obviously, I couldn't really control any of this. The body wasn't me (though it was, in a way). I had no control over the body, the noises it was making, the movements it was making... none of it. All I could really do was watch it react to him, and feel the things that he was doing, distorted and halfway removed from reality as they were.
But something in the middle brought the entire set up crashing down. I don't know what it was. It wasn't the end... I know that much, because I was in my own body again for the end, feeling it all immediately, instead of through whatever sort of filter there had been before when I was my soul and my body was someone else. I just know that at one moment I was up there, watching. The next moment... my body was me again, and I was experiencing the entire event from the first person again.
I think it might have been him who brought me back. I'm not quite sure, but I think I remember seeing him look up from what he was doing for a moment, staring with surprisingly focused eyes right in my direction. A narrowing of his eyes later, and I was back in my body, being taken rather than watching the entire thing from afar. But I'm not quite sure if that's right or not.
The frightening thing is...even though I went back to my body, it wasn't quite the same as before I separated. I could feel, just as I could before. But I couldn't move. I couldn't talk. I couldn't respond. My body could, but I couldn't... even as the end came.
Even after the end... all I could really do was lay there and watch from partially unseeing eyes as he helped clean me up. Lay there, and cry silent, unseen tears.